Season II
Phartman Report 005
Rundown
A. OPEN- GIMME DAMN SHOW (RUN OPEN OFF FC)
• GREETING
• INTRODUCE CREW
• PLUG CONTACT PAGE
• TEASE (OUTCUE: Right after these words from our sponsor)
Bubb Rubb
B. TEXAS NEWS 4 YOU TO ABUSE (BACKGROUND)
• Everyone sucks in this situation! http://news.yahoo.com/girl-posted-facebook-during-7-hour-welfare-office-210445255.html
• More proof our judicial system sucks ass! http://www.myfoxhouston.com/dpp/news/local/111208-TXJailed-During-Crime_33316016
• Bee Caves solution to the drug problem! http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/video/Planet-K-Mural-Battle-Takes-Unexpected-Turn20111206-ktbcw#axzz1fymlBlhR
• Another propeller horror story! http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpp/news/Plano-Woman-Lauren-Scruggs-Hit-by-Plane-Propeller-120511
THROW TO BREAK
Phartman’s hypnotic, hydroponic, symbolic chamber of mental fornication
PROLLY RIGHT
C. OH HELL NAW (BACKGROUND)
• NOT A SWEETSPOT IN THE GOLDIELOCKS ZONE? http://news.yahoo.com/planet-sweet-spot-goldilocks-zone-life-223007926.html
• Avocado Asteroids? http://www.newsday.com/news/new-views-of-giant-asteroid-vesta-revealed-1.3368518
• Monster black holes? http://news.yahoo.com/scientists-monster-black-holes-biggest-yet-162552569.html
• I can’t believe there is video of a cloaked spacecraft orbiting Mercury! http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/mysterious-planet-sized-object-spotted-near-mercury-154443870.html;_ylt=Ahs1JzWZzbDQN_FVf4WmIoSs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTNqbzViNGQxBGNjb2RlA2N0LmMEcGtnAzYzZmMzZTI2LTQ3ODktM2IxYS05MTlmLTdjODA2YjQ5MTFjMARwb3MDMQRzZWMDbW9zdF9wb3B1bGFyBHZlcgM2NDJkNDRmMC0yMGVhLTExZTEtYjdiNS03ZmMwYzZhODYzNGQ-;_ylg=X3oDMTFvdnRqYzJoBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25zBHRlc3QD;_ylv=3
• I didn’t miss the lunar eclipse Saturday morning did I? http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpps/news/full-lunar-eclipse-happening-early-saturday-morning-dpgapx-20111209-fc_16314371#axzz1gF8OtZ8X
• Not lost SPACE ROCKS? http://news.yahoo.com/misplaced-stuff-nasa-loses-moon-space-rocks-202941230.html
• That dog didn’t save those damn kittens? http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57337836/kittens-discarded-in-cat-food-bag-rescued-by-dog/
• There’s no such thing as a 26 toed cat! http://news.yahoo.com/cats-26-toes-help-boost-milwaukee-animal-shelter-080754594.html
• Those are not photos of twin bobcats hunting in someone’s backyard in Frisco! http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpp/news/Mom-Takes-Amazing-Photos-of-Bobcats-Frolicking-in-Frisco-120811
• THROW TO BREAK
Crilley Vid/PHRANK OF THE WEEK/SWORDFISH ATTACK
D. PHARTMAN’S TERRIFIED (USE ANNUNAKI BACKGROUND)
• Woolly Mammoths Scare the HELL out of me! http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/trending-now/scientific-discovery-may-lead-woolly-mammoths-roaming-earth-162955149.html
• Chilean glaciers give me the chills! http://news.yahoo.com/rapid-retreat-chile-glacier-captured-images-201458053.html
• I’m frightened by penis pumps alright! http://news.heartland.org/newspaper-article/2011/12/06/quarter-billion-taxpayer-dollars-spent-penis-pumps
• Another Wal-Mart horror story: http://www.fox23.com/news/local/story/Woman-caught-making-meth-inside-S-Tulsa-Walmart/Rgu31vt1m0me-p0WwKsN_w.cspx
• Ass injections are such a pain! http://news.yahoo.com/nc-woman-charged-buttocks-injections-gone-bad-184229702.html;_ylt=Amk.GzzHNDLwbZgx.T95vSys0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTN2NzdoZGc4BG1pdANPZGQgRnJvbnQgUGFnZQRwa2cDZTdiZjY3ZDAtZDgxZC0zYTQ3LWExOTItMjExM2MxNWIzOGZjBHBvcwM1BHNlYwNNZWRpYVNlY3Rpb25MaXN0BHZlcgNmNjJmNmY0MC0yMWQ1LTExZTEtOTBmZi0xZDY0MGYzNGVhMzg-;_ylg=X3oDMTFvdnRqYzJoBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25zBHRlc3QD;_ylv=3 Links to cool before and after buttock augmentation pics: http://www.realself.com/blog/3-reasons-silicone-butt-injections
• My friend will kill me and then hide my body under Christmas presents under the tree! http://charlotte.cbslocal.com/2011/12/05/woman-accused-of-leaving-dead-friends-body-under-christmas-presents/
• Crosswalks petrify me! http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpps/news/bystanders-lift-suv-off-man-in-wheelchair-hit-at-crosswalk-dpgonc-20111209-fc_16312927#axzz1gF8OtZ8X
E. GOODBYE
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